Hi guys, here is two pieces I am working on for my reel. The first has a bit of profanity in it so if you are easily offended beware.




The second is going to be a higher quality piece, I have created all models, did all the rigging and animation, of course. The models aren't final, not textured, not the high res version of the character.



Thank you in advance for all feedback and comments. don't be afraid to be brutally honest-I can take it!

Thanks,
Greg

Thanks for sharing your stuff with us!

In Jelly Donut, the first thing that struck me as odd was the fact that the foreground guy doesn't move at all initially. I thought he was just a static stand-in that you put in there for blocking. I know he's SUPPOSED to stand still after listening to the context of the story, but I think he would look more alive if you added some subtle body motion in there. Also regarding that same character, I like the darting head movement. That had to be the funniest thing about him.

With the other guy, his anger increases as the short goes along, so I think the acting in the beginning of it is great, but when he lifts the donut out of the box, his anger is reaching its peak, so I think you should probably exaggerate it a bit more to visually show the characters's anger increase.

A technical problem: when his hand first contacts the donut, they move weird.

In Kick Start, when he goes up, his right leg jerks a lot. Also, the timing of his jump his off; it feels floaty.

I do like the secondary action in the motorcycle, though.

The first shot, the composition is a little bit strange. Thing of away to make your staging a bit more appealing..

The character that is in trouble, you might make him scared that the other guy is going to find the donut, some subtle eye darts would be good.

Get off vertical, straight up and down along the spine and that will make you character seem more alive.

The guy that has found the donut, holds it up and then he looks not at the character but then off stage somewhere and his body is directed there too... made me feel like is was talking to a third party, not the first guy.

The second shot, The whole body should be pushing down on the starter, when the hips move the rest of the upper body has to push down too..

the jump, needs to be just like another bouncing ball, the spacing is the same and everything.. you have your anticipation , last point of contact with ground, hight point of the jump, first point of contact, Squash, settle.

I hope that helps!

Hey there. I have updated the kickstart animation piece based on your comments. I think it is feeling a lot less floaty, and I think the back is moving more as you kicks through. Also smoothed out some of the amiation. Too many unnecessary keys. I think this is getting there, what do you guys think?

thanks again.
g.

Reasonable improvement.
Though possibly try and get some live action reference so you can refer back to that to see what you need to improve.

Its definitely improving from the first one. My biggest problem right now with the animation on this piece is that alot of whats going on in the y axis of your root control and the foot control is way over keyed, and I mean way way way over keyed. It seems to change speed in each up and down movement 4 or 5 times. Id delete most of the keys and keep the peak and the contact keys, and just add 1 breakdown between the contact and peak pose and try to get a nice pace set.

Matthew, I agree. I actually just started over; there were a couple of issues that I couldn't nail down and just decided to start fresh. I did have way too many keys, though the motion should be a little jerky but not that much. Stay tuned. Fresh approach on its way.


thanks guys.

I started from scratch on this one. Minimized the keys, planned out the moves more. More improvement I think. I am still not 100% happy with the sense of weight on the big kick but I am not sure what to do about it. any thoughts?

hey there

liking the animation

on the big kick to give it a bit more force, try adding some emphasis to the shoulders. with his hands on the handlebars like that he needs to look like more upper body strength is being used to push down. try showing a bit more shoulder blade

hope this helps as you've got a good piece of work there

look forward to seeing the final outcome